Dear King,
It’s time to level up your Sex Game.
Doing this will put you in the top 90% of men, and dramatically change the quality of your relationships.
Why? Because sex is the glue which holds relationships together.
In fact, great sex is so powerful that it can keep both parties in a toxic relationship.
And a man’s sexual power refers to his ability to attract and arouse women.
It allows him to touch women at their deepest emotional level, leaving them completely vulnerable and exposed.
If you fuck a woman well, she’ll assume you also fuck other women well.
And that makes her afraid of losing you.
But if she uses sex as a weapon against you, that’s a sign you’re not fucking her well enough.
And she already has one foot out the door.
Sexual power can either destroy or heal a woman, depending on the man who wields it.
So if you’ve ever found yourself wondering why women run back to assholes all the time, you now have your answer.
Assholes are able to make women feel things they don’t get to feel elsewhere.
These women aren’t necessarily damaged or broken.
They’re addicted.
And pretty much every woman is addicted to some guy.
Pretty much every woman has that one man she sees as her “alpha”.
It’s in your best interest as a man to unleash this sexual power that also lays dormant within you.
But to do that, you must overcome six obstacles to sexual mastery.
These obstacles comprise of two myths and four mistakes.
So here are the sexual myths and mistakes which hamper your bedroom performance:
Bedroom Myth #1 Looks Matter (to Women)
Most guys disqualify themselves from approaching girls.
These guys believe they aren’t good-looking enough to deserve women.
They believe women are only interested in dating 6-foot models.
But here’s the thing: What women say they want is very different from what they actually respond to.
If looks were really the end-all-be-all of seduction, then there wouldn’t be so many handsome guys who struggle to get laid.
Step away from your phone/computer, go outside, and actually look around.
If you’re observant enough, you’ll find numerous examples which disprove this myth.
Beautiful women who’re perfectly happy with “average” looking men.
And women who’re unsatisfied with handsome men.
In fact, one of the most miserable couples I know was a British couple in my uni days.
The girl, Jazmin, was a mixed race stunner. And a massive bitch.
Have you ever met a girl who knows she’s hot?
Jazmin was hot, she knew she was hot, and she pretty much walked over everyone in her social circle.
Her boyfriend was also remarkably good-looking. He reminded me of the stereotypical high-school alpha.
But he was really nice, and really friendly.
Which made him a prime target for Jazmin’s drama.
She, like many other beautiful girls, was just looking for a man to tell her “no”.
So think of looks as the icing on the cake.
Women may take a bite, but it’s what on the inside (who you are) that counts.
Bedroom Myth #2: Bigger is Better
This is a result of watching too much porn and not sleeping with enough women.
The female G-spot is only 3 inches deep from the vaginal entrance, so pretty much every man can hit it.
Now, women do love the sensation of being “filled”, but the typical vagina is smaller than you’d think.
Masters and Johnson were two researchers who discovered this in the 1960s.
They looked at 100 women who had never been pregnant and found that vagina lengths, unstimulated, range from 2.75 inches to about 3.75 inches.
And when a woman is aroused, vaginal length increased to a range between 4.25 inches and 4.75 inches.
So most men can create this sensation of being filled by pressing their pubic bone right up against a woman’s crotch.
This creates an extra dimension of intimacy for women, and I’ll talk more about the technique involved in a later “secret”.
But having a longer penis can actually take away from the emotional aspect of this for women.
“Longer” men can’t press their hips up against women without the penis head bumping against the woman’s cervix.
This is not a pleasant feeling, and women call such men “cervix slammers”.
So most women start out curious about longer men, but they quickly find themselves underwhelmed by the experience.
Penis girth (thickness) is actually more important than length, but there are ways around this as well.
They require you to generate sexual compliance in a woman, and they’ll also be discussed in a later “secret”.
But we must now turn our attention to the four mistakes most men make in the bedroom.
These mistakes take the form of the bedroom identities a man chooses to adopt when getting intimate with a woman.
Bedroom Mistake #1: The Perpetual Lovemaker
The Perpetual Lovemaker is the #1 most popular bedroom archetype in the world right now.
Typically, perpetual lovemakers are safe, provider type guys.
They’re usually level-headed and intelligent, and don’t take many risks.
They’re not the bad boys that women fantasise about; they’re the guys that women settle down with.
The Perpetual Lovemaker takes the messages about “respect for women” that he hears every day to heart.
He believes that women are equal to him in every way.
So, in order to distinguish himself from all the other “jerks” out there, he shows women that he respects them whenever they give him an opportunity to.
He’s happy to help a woman out by doing favors for her, taking her out on dates, etc.
In fact, he has so much respect for women, that he’s even happy to do this even when the woman isn’t having sex with him.
Unsurprisingly, this guy doesn’t get laid very much.
And when he does get laid, he carries his nice guy ways with him all the way to the bedroom.
Because he respects women so deeply, in the bedroom he does not “fuck” a woman. He “makes love” to her.
He treats her with the utmost respect and care, taking great pains to make sure that he doesn’t make her uncomfortable at any point.
If he wants to try something new in bed, he won’t just do it – that would be too presumptuous.
He’ll ask permission: “Honey, would you please go down on me today?”
For some reason though, his woman doesn’t really want to do anything with him beyond plain vanilla missionary sex.
And she doesn’t even show too much interest in this.
So the Perpetual Lovemaker consoles himself.
He tells himself he’s found a “good girl” who “doesn’t do” things like anal sex, deep throat, or even just regular blowjobs.
Actually his girlfriend does these things all the time – just not with him.
And his bedroom antics leave her deeply sexually frustrated.
It’s her nature as a woman to crave being dominated by an alpha male, but The Perpetual Lovemaker deprives her of this.
So she retaliates with all sorts of bad behavior in relationships: arguing, withholding sex, neuroticism, and cheating.
These behaviors, especially the cheating, aren’t her fault.
Why? Because every woman needs dominant sex in order to be psychologically healthy.
But the Perpetual Lovemaker compels his partner into these types of behaviors because he lacks the Dominance required to satisfy her,
Bedroom Mistake #2: The Emotionless Robot
Maybe you know a guy who picks up a lot of girls.
You can see it as soon as you look at him. As soon as he rolls into a room, he just oozes coolness and high value.
He doesn’t react emotionally to anything a girl might throw at him.
And, this behavior is highly effective at getting girls into bed.
(In fact, I recommend being emotionally unreactive to a degree in order to pick up girls.)
The problem The Emotionless Robot has is this – he carries his lack of Emotion into the bedroom.
He doesn’t even like sex that much. His main motivation for picking up girls isn’t sex – it’s validation.
It’s the thrill of the hunt, and the ego boost he gets every time he realises that he can actually have sex with an attractive woman.
In other words, he doesn’t actually enjoy having sex; he just enjoys the fact that he’s having sex.
And although he puts up a front of being cool and untouchable, The Emotionless Robot is actually afraid.
He’s afraid to open himself up emotionally to a woman.
Because of this, sex with an Emotionless Robot has a platonic, detached “friend with benefits” feel.
He’s completely emotionally invulnerable, and can feel neither pain nor passion.
The Emotionless Robot’s partner perceives this lack of passion, and it represses her own emotions.
This ultimately leads to a poor sexual experience, because Emotion is so important for good sex, especially for women.
Bedroom Mistake #3: The Monotonous Plodder
The Monotonous Plodder will have sex with a girl a few times, and it’ll be great.
She’ll orgasm multiple times and start to develop strong emotions towards him.
And she’ll eventually want a relationship with him, because he’s doing everything right in the bedroom,
The problem is, after the initial “honeymoon” period of the relationship, the sex starts to go downhill.
It’s nothing sudden or dramatic, but after a while it just doesn’t seem like the spark is there anymore.
The girl loses interest, and breaks up with him.
The Monotonous Plodder then writes this off as inevitable…
…because “people inevitably grow tired of having sex with each other for an extended period of time”.
But this isn’t true. A guy who is creative and good in bed can keep a sexual relationship fresh and exciting for a lifetime.
So then, what was the plodder’s mistake? He was doing everything right in the beginning.
What he didn’t realise though, is that too much of a good thing…is a bad thing.
He didn’t add any Variety into the sexual relationship.
So, instead of an irresistible desire, sex became a scheduled obligation for the girl.
She knew exactly what was going to happen, when it was going to happen, and how it was going to happen.
And this monotony killed the sexual attraction she felt for him.
Bedroom Mistake #4: The Bedroom Technician
The Bedroom Technician knows everything about sex.
After his first few sexual experiences were embarrassing and frustrating, he went on a quest to become a bedroom stud that women would sexually respond to.
To this end, he’s bought endless books on sexual technique.
He’s spent countless nights reading information on the internet, continually learning new sexual positions…
…new ways to hit the G-spot, new ways to do everything.
He always craves more information about sex. No matter how much he’s read it’s never enough, he always wants to know more, more, more.
The Bedroom Technician thinks sex is a matter of angles and inches, positions and correct stimulation.
Everything he does in bed is technically perfect.
He’ll even log onto the internet and give advice, and guys will look up to him as an online sex guru.
Despite all his knowledge, his girlfriend is frustrated with him.
She wants a man to fuck her, not a scientist who performs gynecology experiments.
And the Technician doesn’t understand that complex physical technique really doesn’t make you any better in bed.
Technique is only a small part of the sexual equation.
It sounds impressive on an internet forum, but in real life it’s ineffective.
Ultimately, the problem of The Bedroom Technician is that he thinks too much and tries to “figure out” sex.
Instead of doing this, he should use basic physical technique and concentrate his efforts on providing extraordinary psychological stimulation.
What do all of these archetypes have in common?
Each one of them represents someone who is deficient in one of the Four Elements of sexuality.
More specifically, someone who is deficient in one of the Four psychological Elements of sexuality.
- Dominance
- Emotion
- Variety
- Immersion
These Four Elements together are referred to as DEVI, with each Element being represented by its first letter.
These psychological Elements are the foundation of good sex, and you’ll learn more about them in next week’s secret.
Till we meet again.
May you grow stronger and stronger, without limit, in all things.
AJ Newport (@LearnThisSecret)
