Dear King,
Last week’s Secret accomplished two things.
It explored the six obstacles to sexual mastery, and introduced you to the four foundational pillars required to satisfy any woman in bed:
- Dominance
- Emotion
- Variety
- Immersion
We’re now going to take a closer look at the first pillar of sexual mastery: Dominance.
Dominance is, simply put, the foundation of all male sexual power. And it’s the first thing every woman looks for in a sexual partner.
If you’ve read my book The Desired Man, then you already know women have a “dark” sexual side.
And you also know that the deepest craving of every woman is the desire to be dominated by an alpha male.
This desire is so strong that it even exists within lesbians.
Most lesbian couples have one masculine/”butch” partner, and one feminine/submissive partner.
That’s how important sexual polarity is for the stability of a relationship.
Masculine Dominance triggers feminine surrender, and without Dominance, there can be no sexual excitement.
This is what women are looking for when they fantasise about “tall, dark, and handsome” men. Women secretly want a man they can feel inferior to.
- If he’s taller, he can look down at her.
- If he’s stronger/fitter, he can overpower her (consensually).
- If he’s better-looking, he can attract more attention than her, “neutralising” the woman’s greatest asset: her physical attractiveness.
- If he’s smarter, he can out-think her.
- If he’s more emotionally stable, he can ignore her bullshit and put her in her place.
- If he’s richer (or higher status) he can order her and other people around.
All these attributes (height, athleticism, looks, intelligence, money, and status) are potential signals for masculine dominance.
But they’re not the real thing. There are many men who struggle with women even when having one or more of these attributes.
Women actually experience extreme disappointment when they meet a strong, handsome, or rich guy who lacks a dominant personality.
And the more attractive the woman, the greater her disappointment.
Why? Because beautiful women are used to being treated like princesses.
They’re used to guys simping for them.
So when a man treats a beautiful woman like she’s nothing special, he stands out from the crowd.
And this presents an opportunity for you, even if you aren’t the “tall, dark, and handsome” type.
Here’s the first thing you should know about Dominance:
It’s the only sexual Element in which your physical build can translate into psychological stimulation.
Simply put, if you’re bigger and stronger, you will seem more dominant.
Now, you can’t change your height, but you can change your body composition and muscle mass.
So read my book Unleash Muscle for more information on how to do this naturally.
But you don’t need to wait until you have a six-pack before you gain bedroom dominance.
Sex is eighty percent psychological for women.
And remember that women get physically aroused even by the sight of monkeys fucking, so the visual aspect is only a small part of the equation.
I’m a short guy who makes a strong psychological impression on girls because of what I do in bed.
So the most important thing is to act in a dominant way in the bedroom.
But how exactly should you act to become dominant?
First and foremost, you must realise Dominance is a mentality. It’s a mindset.
You must internalise the belief that you as a man are inherently dominant, and all women are inherently submissive.
But you won’t fully appreciate this until you make a beautiful woman freeze just by approaching her with confident eye contact.
She may “push back” initially, but she’ll eventually submit once she realises you’re the real deal.
This is both right and natural. Women will never verbalise it, but deep down they crave the fucking that only a dominant alpha male can give them.
They’re wired to respond to masculine energy, and a man always has authority over a woman unless he gives it up.
So you’re not disrespecting women or doing anything wrong when you dominate them in bed.
You’re actually giving them the gift of intense sexual pleasure.
The average guy never gets to see this side of female sexuality, but once you glimpse it your confidence will skyrocket.
Every sexually healthy woman wants dominant sex, especially when she’s ovulating.
And when she gets really aroused, she wants to be treated like a piece of meat in the bedroom, to be violated and used like a slut.
Women want you to rip their clothes off over their token objections.
They want you to talk dirty to them.
And they want to be helpless as you make them cum over and over again.
There’s nothing wrong with this; in fact, it’s a very natural and beautiful thing.
But you must work your way up to this. You can’t just run up to a random woman on the street and rip her clothes off.
You also can’t suddenly go all hardcore dominant on a girl you’re already sleeping with.
Here’s a very important point to understand:
Your “everyday” behaviour makes a promise to women about your bedroom performance.
Simply put, how you act outside the bedroom sets the expectation for what you can do inside it.
You’ll notice that my MAD-EESI framework already laid the foundation for Dominance, but it’s time to take things to the next level.
Now, if a woman wants a man to be her superior, then sex must be viewed as a privilege for the woman, not a favour to you.
And this mindset must extend to every action you take in the bedroom.
But you don’t tell women you’re doing them a favour, you show them.
And one of the easiest ways to display subtle dominance is by giving commands in the bedroom.
The next time you’re escalating to sex, tell your woman to take her clothes off and fold them neatly in a corner.
Say this while you’re still fully clothed, for maximum impact.
Few guys have the self-control to do this.
Instead, they’ll rush to take their clothes off and maybe help the woman do the same.
But masculine self-control is a form of dominance.
It tells the woman her beauty and sexual availability have no effect on you.
So calmly watch her as she undresses, then tell her to turn around slowly.
Inspect her body. Imagine you’re a talent scout for a modeling agency and she’s just the latest talent you’re considering.
Nod in approval as you like what you see, then tell her to come closer.
Inspect her breasts, her skin, and hips. Let your eyes take in every detail.
Then brush a finger against her body, stick it in her mouth so she sucks on it, and use it to finger her with her own saliva as lubrication.
Notice there’s a subtle power dynamic at play here.
She’ll feel vulnerable, exposed, and objectified, but in a good way which triggers her arousal.
And here’s a powerful way to increase your dick’s value to a woman before she gives you a blowjob for the first time.
Pull out your dick, look at her, then tell her to kiss it.
You then reward her compliance with further escalation her by inviting her to suck it.
Then you tease her by withdrawing access.
Here’s how to do it:
“Come here, girl. Now kiss my cock. Good girl. Now suck it, three times only. One…two…three…”
Then you push her head away gently and say “That’s enough for today. Didn’t that feel nice? Next time, you get five sucks.”
Then move on with normal foreplay, and you don’t stick your dick in her mouth until the next time you meet up for sex.
This will drive her crazy and make her chase you for validation.
And the more she chases, the more she invests in you.
So when you finally explode in her mouth, she’ll feel like she’s “earned” it.
Do you see how all this separates you from other men?
You’re now the man who can stare her in the eye when she’s naked with your dick in her mouth…
…while other guys lose their composure even when she has her clothes on.
I’ll discuss more dominant techniques in the next secret.
Till we meet again.
May you grow stronger and stronger, without limit, in all things.
AJ Newport (@LearnThisSecret)
